


The Coffee Shop

by theyoungestone



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: A little fluff too, Angst, Eventual Smut, F/F, coffee shop AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2019-11-13 01:46:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18022478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyoungestone/pseuds/theyoungestone
Summary: Based off a prompt from tumblr:I go to a coffee shop everyday and you’re always there in the back corner sitting alone and you always order the same thing, I tried it and it’s delicious and you look so sadI think you can imagine where this goes.





	1. Chapter 1

Trixie stumbled in through the door of Dela's Coffee.  Even though she had been here at least once per day for the last year or so, she still got tripped up by the raised door stop every single time she walked in.  Dela's had an eclectic atmosphere that made her feel comforted even when she had the worst day, which explained why she had become a regular at this place.  Trixie had been having a lot of bad days, with her job being not only physically demanding, but also mentally draining.  However, when she entered Dela's, she forgot all about that. The warm brick walls were littered with paintings by local artists, which were for sale if you could afford to cough up the money.  The tables were mismatched, with no two chairs looking exactly alike.  All the coffee cups were vintage and had weird sayings such as "greatest grandpa ever!" or "my brother went to Cabo and all I got was this coffee cup."  It felt like home.

"Trixie, my dear! The usual?" Dela called from behind the counter after Trixie had gotten her bearings.

"You know it!" She chirped back, trying to sound cheerful.  Trixie laid the cash on the counter, already knowing the total would be exactly $3.50, and told Dela to keep the rest.  Dela smiled, her cat eye liner curling up with the squinting motion and got to work making Trixie's drink.  It was nothing fancy, a vanilla latte with skim milk, but it would put Trixie in the best of moods.

As Dela worked on her drink, Trixie settled herself in a table in the corner of the small cafe, where she could watch passers by and observe other coffee shop goers.  Dela's was relatively busy, as they made the best cup of coffee in the area and easily had the best prices.  Trixie recognized the usual customers, an old man who always wore the same "Vietnam Veteran" baseball cap, young girls who drank their blended coffees and gossiped about god knows who, and the college professor who looked all too stressed as his forehead crinkled, trying to understand the academic text in front of him.  

As Trixie got up to get her drink, she noticed someone slip into the table next to her.  She had never seen this woman before.  Many people went in and out of Dela's, it wasn't Trixie's personal coffee shop after all, but Trixie could usually figure out their motive and what their deal was.  This one, she had no clue.  The woman returned with a cup of what appeared to be some fancy drink topped with whipped cream and opened her laptop, which was covered with an assortment of stickers.  Trixie couldn't place many of them, but noticed the Russian flag and a red scythe were among the bunch.  The woman had striking features - sea green eyes made prominent by a lot of black eyeliner, deep cheekbones that appeared to sink into her mouth, and an angular, bleach blonde bob that hit right at her jawline.  She wore a black leather jacket and dark jeans, out of place among the many hipsters that littered the shop.  

Trixie opened her own laptop, hoping to get some work done, but continued to observe the woman as casually as she could without being obvious that she was staring.  She looked intently focused on whatever was on her screen and didn't appear to notice Trixie.  After about an hour, the woman left and Trixie went back to her work.

~

The next day, Trixie repeated her routine, stumbling through the door of Dela's, ordering the same vanilla latte with skim milk, and claiming a table in the corner.  She had arrived a little earlier than the previous day and almost hoped to herself she would catch sight of the strange woman again.  There was something very interesting about her.  Something so captivating.  Trixie couldn't put her finger on it, but she knew she wanted to get to know her better.  

Sure enough, after about a half hour, the same strange woman entered the shop.  She didn't stumble like Trixie always did, but gracefully stepped over the door stop.  She was wearing the same dark jeans and leather jacket, but Trixie was able to get a better look at her.  She was slender, but incredibly muscular, and her angled bob almost made contact with her shoulder on one side.  She waited in line, typing away on her phone.   She had the same, laser intent focus as she had yesterday on her computer, but there was something sad behind her eyes.  Trixie didn't want to ask, after all she was a complete stranger who just happened to like the same coffee shop.  Trixie didn't have to shove her nose in someone else's business, but she did at least want to ask her her name.

The stranger smiled with perfect, almost blue-white teeth at Dela as she paid for her order.  She stepped to the side, waiting by answering a few what Trixie presumed to be messages on her phone, and wrapped blunt, clean nails around the same fancy drink when presented to her.  Once again, she claimed the table next to Trixie, opened her laptop with the Russian stickers, and went to work.  Trixie tried to think of something to say, but decided against it.  She had her own work to do and struggles to deal with, the last thing she would want was a stranger bothering her at a coffee shop.

~

The next day, Trixie once again showed up at Dela's as part of her casual routine.  She tripped over the same part of the door, ordered the same drink, and sat at the same table.  While she was waiting in the small line to order her vanilla latte with skim milk, she noticed the strange woman had beat her to the coffee shop on this day. She was already sitting in the table next to where Trixie had put her stuff down, and was already intently focused on her work with the same sadness behind her eyes.  They had ended up sitting next to each other at the same coffee shop three days in a row now, and Trixie felt this gave her some cause to talk to the woman.

Trixie thanked Dela as she took the drink, and went over to sit at her usual table.  The woman paid her no mind as she sat down, not even once looking up from her screen.  Trixie wasn't sure what she was working on, but it clearly demanded all her attention.  

Trixie's mind grasped at things to say to start a conversation.   _Fancy seeing you here for the third day in a row?_ No, too creepy too fast.  _I'm Trixie, I've noticed you seem to hang out here a lot._ Again, that was too much.  

"Excuse me," Trixie said, making some gesture with her hand intended to catch the peripheral vision of the woman.  "Can I ask you, what are you drinking? It looks delicious!" Trixie settled on a basic icebreaker, not something that indicated she had been spending her entire time in the coffee shop focusing on this woman for the last three days.

"Yeah! It's a vanilla latte, with whipped cream on top instead of foam.  I would highly recommend," The stranger smiled at her, taking out her headphones and turning to face Trixie.  It was very forward body language, indicating the stranger may also have been hoping to talk to Trixie, and this wasn't all one sided affection.

"I'll have to try that tomorrow, I'm in here almost every day," Trixie laughed and turned away from her work.

"I've noticed," the stranger chuckled, "we seem to end up here at the same time quite frequently."

Trixie was taken aback.  Not only had this strange, almost alluring woman noticed Trixie existed, but she made note of it for the past three days as well.

"I'm Yekaterina," the woman smiled, "but you can call me Katya. It's easier for you Americans."

Trixie laughed. "I'm Trixie," she said, as she held out a hand, her bright pink acrylic nails offering a handshake to Katya.

"Nice to meet you," Katya took her hand, shaking it.  Trixie was almost amazed at how soft her hands were compared to her rather sharp features.

"Can I ask, what do you do?" Katya crossed her legs and Trixie couldn't help but notice how amazing they looked in dark jeans.

"I work as a writer for the local newspaper," Trixie started. "What do you do? Are you new to the area? I haven't seen you around before."

"I am new, I actually just moved here from Russia.  Long way, I know.  And I work as a free-lance graphic designer, so my work demands a lot of time in front of the screen," Katya smiled, continuing to make eye contact with Trixie.

"I kind of figured, given the stickers on your laptop," Trixie observed.

Katya flipped her laptop screen down self-consciously so she could see the stickers.  "Oh yes, part of our heritage!" she laughed and pointed to the scythe, trying to cover up the fact that she was embarrassed to have a communist symbol in what may be the most capitalist country of all.  She had forgotten it was there.

"Well, I'm sure I'll see you around," Trixie smiled, a gesture Katya returned, and they both went back to their work, clicking away at their respective laptops.

~

As Trixie entered Dela's, she looked around for Katya.  Not seeing her yet, she stepped up to the counter.  Dela rang in her usual drink, as it had become part of their routine.

"Actually Dela, I think I'm gonna switch it up today. Can I do the vanilla latte with skim, but instead of foam can I do whipped cream?" Trixie asked.

"Sure thing!" Dela smiled, and fixed the order in the computer. "You haven't ordered something different in a while."

"I know, but I'm feeling a little extra sassy today," Trixie joked, and Dela began working on her drink.  

Trixie returned to her table and arranged her computer and notes on the wooden surface.  She took a sip of the drink and oh my god.  It was amazing!  Sweet like birthday cake, but also a little bitter from the espresso.  Katya was definitely on to something here.  

Trixie became invested in her work, typing away at an editorial she was planning to publish for the weekend.  She was about half way through her coffee when Katya walked through the door.  Trixie smiled up at her as their eyes met, and Katya returned it.  Katya ordered, waited for her drink, and went to sit at the table next to Trixie.  However, as she got closer, Katya noticed someone had already claimed it before she had gotten the chance to.  It was the elderly man wearing the veteran's cap.  She looked up at Trixie, who was moving her bag from the seat across from her.

"Need a work partner?" Katya asked, a smirk crawling up one side of her brick red lips.

"I would love one actually!" Trixie giggled and motioned for Katya to sit across from her.  

"Thank you, very kind of you." Katya settled in, pulling out her laptop as well as a sketch book.

"Working on anything exciting?" Trixie questioned, looking over at the sketches.  She noticed lots of patriotic symbols, including American flags, red white and blue colors, and some mentioning of beer.

"I recently took a gig working for a beer company that wants to rebrand their American Ale.  Kind of funny considering I'm about as Russian as they come," Trixie laughed and Katya smiled, "I am sending them some samples to choose from before I finalize any design."

"I tried your drink today," Trixie changed the topic. 

"And?" Katya looked up at her with those huge, sea-green eyes, only with slightly less eyeliner this time.

"It's delicious!" Trixie took another sip, as if to emphasize the point.

"I'm glad!" Katya's red lips spread into a huge smile, revealing perfect white teeth.  Trixie knew, in that moment, she would do whatever it took to make sure Katya never stopped smiling.  It made her melt.  However, there was still some sadness behind her eyes that Trixie would give anything to make go away.

"Can I ask you something, a little too personal maybe?" Trixie started

"Of course, I love sharing all too personal things with beautiful women I've only just met," Katya chuckled, but all Trixie could focus on was that she just called her beautiful.

Desperately trying to regain her thought pattern, Trixie stumbled over her words. "I.. I.. I don't know, you just look kind of sad.  Are you okay?"

"Just a little homesick, that's all.  I have been here for about a month and its really starting to settle in," Katya looked back down at her sketches.

"I'm sorry to hear that, did you have family in Russia?" Trixie pried.

"Just my brother and some distant cousins.  I still miss them a little, you know?" Katya said.

"Of course, I totally get it." Trixie didn't get it, nor would she ever, but that was the only thing she could think of to try and offer some support to Katya.

They went back to their work, clicking away in silence for the next hour or so.  They didn't need to have constant conversation to know the other was present.  It was a sort of comforting silence, both appreciated by the other.  It allowed them to get work done, but still be enjoying time together as new friends.

As the clock approached the late afternoon hours and Dela began cleaning up behind the counter, Katya began to pack up her things.  Trixie was finishing up the end of her editorial and planned to do the same thing shortly.  Katya stood up to leave and Trixie smiled up at her.

"Hey, what are your plans this evening?" Trixie questioned.

"I have a date-" Katya started and Trixie's breath caught in her throat.  Of course Katya had a date!  She was smoking hot, with beautiful, intense features, and an incredibly intriguing personality.  Trixie was so naive to even think Katya would possibly interested in her.

"-with my couch and a bottle of vodka." Katya laughed and sensed the distraught expression on Trixie's face. "But that can definitely be moved if you have other ideas?'

"I do actually. There's a really fun bar down the street from here if you'd rather grab a drink there," Trixie joked.  "I don't know if I'm as much fun as your couch, but I think I can be a pretty good date."

"That sounds so much more enjoyable, and much more social," Katya beamed.

"I'll meet you there at 8?" Trixie smiled back up at her as she closed her laptop.

"Sounds wonderful," Katya turned and headed out.

Trixie sat there in a haze.  Was she seriously about to go on a date?  With an incredibly intense, sexy woman she just met at a coffee shop a few days ago?  Yes, she was, and she was so excited about it.

Dela glared over at her from behind the counter. "You okay, Trixie? You look a little out of it."

Over the year of spending lots of time at the coffee shop, Dela had become one of Trixie's close friends.  Close in the way that she knew her coffee order by heart, the times when she usually stopped by, and offered advice when Trixie needed it most.  

"Yeah, I'm good.  I think I have a date tonight," Trixie got up and leaned her elbows on the counter behind which Dela cleaned the espresso machine.

"Exciting!  Is it with the blonde you were just sitting with?" Dela asked, giving her a sly look.

"Yeah, she's so interesting, and smart," Trixie found herself zoning out again, thinking of Katya.

"She seemed pretty into you the last few days.  She's the one that always sat next to you, right?" Dela questioned and Trixie nodded.

"She kept sneaking looks at you while you were typing away.  Kind of romantic in a way," Dela smiled, returning her attention to the machine in front of her.

"Really?" Trixie asked, eyes lighting up with excitement.  Was Katya really into her?

"The only way to find out for sure is on your date tonight," Dela chuckled.

Trixie thanked her again and bolted out the door.  She had a date to get ready for with what was possibly the most interesting woman she had ever met.


	2. Chapter 2

Katya was nervous.  Excited, but nervous nonetheless.  She had been in the States all of a month and had an apartment, a job, and was about to go on a date.  Things were happening, and happening fast.  Is this what the American Dream was supposed to feel like? 

In her two and a half decades of life, she had never seen someone who was quite like Trixie.  She was someone who was completely, unapologetically herself.  She wore lots of makeup, had bleach blonde hair always teased high, and was always clothed in various pastel shades of pink.  Well, at least from what Katya had seen.  She had only two conversations with her and had only seen her a handful of times.  However, she was intrigued by her and wanted to get to know her better, hence agreeing to the date.

It was a date, right?  Trixie had called it one, or so she remembered from the conversation.  Katya didn't want to go into this with the wrong idea, but she couldn't really help it.  She was so damn attracted to her, and Trixie wasn't Katya's normal type.  Katya wasn't really sure what her type was, but she knew for sure it wasn't Trixie's Malibu barbie fantasy.  However, Katya couldn't remember ever being this excited for a date.  In Russia, she had only been on maybe three official dates, since they always had to be careful due to the strict social code that forbid homosexuality.  She didn't have much to compare it to, but she was excited and looking forward to it nonetheless.  

She showered, shaved, blew her hair dry straight, coated her eyes in various black products, and swiped on her classic red lipstick.  Was red lipstick really an appropriate choice for a first date?  Katya wasn't sure, but she went with it anyway.  Hopefully, she wouldn't have it on very long.

After agonizing over her outfit, she eventually settled on a pair of black jeans and a fitted, multicolored blouse she had brought from Russia.  Katya didn't want to go too formal, after all they were just going to a bar, but she still wanted to appear she tried.  She decided on a pair of heels, which made her legs appear to go on for miles, as well as an eclectic mix of statement jewelry.  She felt confident and sexy, but still her authentic self.  All that was left to do now was wait for eight o'clock to role around.  Katya couldn't help but wonder if Trixie was as nervous as she was. 

Little did she know, Trixie was an absolute mess.  Upon arriving home, she fumbled around in her work bag for her phone and immediately called her best friend Kim.  After going into excessive detail explaining to Kim about how she met Katya, how hot she was, and how Trixie had been so bold to make the first move, the choice over what to wear became too much for her to bare.  

"Kim I have no clue what I should wear for this," Trixie stared at her closet, a mess of various pastel clothes, and lots of glittery club dresses.

"Ok ok, let's break this down," Kim's lisp came through the phone, "where's your headspace at?  What are you thinking?"

Trixie sighed and whined "I have no idea."

"It's not that deep, Trix." Trixie didn't have to be next to Kim to know she was rolling her eyes. "What would you normally wear for a first date?"

"A fitted blouse, maybe a skirt or jeans depending on how casual the situation is?" Trixie began flipping through her closet, desperately trying to find the right thing.

"Go with the skirt, show off that ass!" Kim laughed and Trixie groaned.  She was planning on dressing to impress, but didn't want to go all out.  They were just going to Del Rio's, a borderline dive bar on the outskirts of town.  It didn't have the best atmosphere, but the drinks were cheap and the food wasn't bad either.

After bickering back and forth with Kim, and multiple Snapchats sent to make sure the outfits met Kim's approval, Trixie eventually settled on a fitted white sweater, tucked into a pink, latex skirt.  The skirt screamed sexy, while the sweater added a bit of subtly and professionalism to the outfit.  Trixie paired it with nude pumps, minimal jewelry, and teased her hair higher than normal.  She curled the ends with an iron, just to make sure they were perfect, before setting the whole thing with nearly an entire can of hairspray.  She added a bit of blue into her normal eyeshadow routine and swiped on bright pink lipstick.  She looked hot, there was no denying that.  

She sent Kim a final Snapchat and received a quick reply of  _"Yes!! Yessssss!! You look hot!!"_ from her best friend.  

Trixie sent back a winking face and went to make herself a drink.It didn’t hurt to pregame, right?Plus, she was nervous and the alcohol might help to calm her down.She mixed a vodka soda and returned to her couch, being careful not to cause any creases in her skirt. 

As she took a sip, she realized she hadn’t been this excited for a date in a long time.Maybe, not ever.Something about Katya was so damn interesting, so damn alluring, that she couldn’t wait to get to know her better.The way she spoke with almost perfect English, her Russian accent only becoming pronounced during vowel sounds and in her use of prepositions, could cause Trixie to listen to her forever.She was smart too; Trixie could sense that.And creative, since she did work as a graphic designer.She was already becoming entranced and captivated by this woman, and they hadn’t so much as held hands.

As the clock creeped closer to eight, Trixie ordered an Uber and made her way to Del Rio’s bar.It was a little grungy, but comfortable.The walls were once dark red, but cigarette smoke over the years had caused them to turn to a dark brown.The original floors were stained with various drink spillages from years past, and the bar stools were comfortably worn.Exposed pipes and industrial style lighting covered the ceiling, creating a gaudy mess if one were to look up.The bar was usually filled with an assortment of people, ranging from your typical bikers, to young college kids, to mom’s on their night out. 

Trixie stepped into Del Rio’s and grabbed two seats at the bar.She looked around for Katya, but came up empty.She must have arrived first.Checking her phone, she noted she was about five minutes early. 

“What can I get ya, Trix?” Bianca, the owner of the bar, yelled behind her.She was currently facing away from Trixie, making some kind of fancy blended drink.

“Just a vodka soda, please,” Trixie requested.

“You got it!” Bianca said, handing the college girl her overly complicated drink.Bianca looked at Trixie with huge fake lashes, her dark overdrawn lips curling up into a smirk.

“Hot date tonight?” She asked, placing the drink in front of Trixie and garnishing it with a lime.

“What gave it away?” Trixie joked, taking a sip.

“You look good.Usually when you show up here, you look like a complete disaster” Bianca clapped back.She could insult absolutely anyone, but still did it in a loving way.

“Thank you? I think?” Trixie gave Bianca a fake, confused look.

“Shut up, you know my compliments are few and far between.Take what you can get,” Bianca turned, upon hearing the bar door squeak open.

Katya, with her short blonde hair gracing one shoulder and perfectly sculpted legs coated in dark jeans, scanned the open room of Del Rio’s in search of Trixie.Upon seeing her, Trixie could feel her mouth fall open slightly.She had never seen someone look so spectacular yet effortless at the same time.She raised her hand to catch Katya’s attention.Katya’s eyes lit up and she smiled with excitement when she saw Trixie.Trixie’s pink latex skirt caught Katya’s eye and all she could think of was ripping it off her body.

“Damn, nice catch Trix,” Bianca muttered under her breath a few moments before Katya sat down. 

“Hey,” Katya breathed out, taking the seat next to Trixie.

“Hi,” Trixie started, “You look fantastic.”

Katya chuckled “thank you, you as well!”

“Do you want something to drink or are you just gonna sit there?” Bianca came up, polishing a pint glass in her hand.

“Kettle One vodka, please.Straight up,” Katya smiled back at Bianca, despite her harsh demeanor.

Bianca filled a small glass and set it down in front of Katya, who took a swig without making a face. Bianca actually looked impressed by this.

“Don’t mind her,” Trixie said, shooting daggers with her eyes at Bianca, who held up her hands in defense and went back to cleaning up the bar.“She’s a little rough around the edges.”

“Oh, no worries.She’s still nicer than any bartender I’ve ever had in Russia,” Katya laughed.

“Thanks for inviting me tonight, I was really looking forward to it all afternoon,” Katya started and raised her glass.Trixie did the same.Without saying what they cheers-ing to, Katya nodded and their glasses clinked together.

“Me too, ever since I first saw you at Dela’s I’ve wanted to get to know you better,” Trixie smiled.

“I am very flattered,” Katya held her drink in one hand and rested another of Trixie’s thigh.A chill ran down Trixie’s spine at the contact and she never wanted it to stop.

“How long have you been in America?” Trixie questioned, trying to remember how to speak under Katya’s touch.

“A little over a month.I love it more each day.You Americans take so much for granted,” Katya lamented, taking another sip of her drink.

“What made you leave Russia?” Trixie asked, preferring to talk about Katya, learn about her, rather than overshare about her relatively boring life.

“Opportunity.As an artist, you can’t do much in Russia, since everything is under such strict scrutiny.Here, I am free to create whatever I want and share it with the world,” Katya said.

“That must have been hard,” Trixie tried to be sympathetic.Katya’s hand was still on her thigh and she still didn’t know how to react.She was usually pretty smooth on first dates, but Katya had her a mess and she had only touched her leg.

“It was, but I am lucky to have the means to get out.Most others aren’t as fortunate.I hope, as I get more established, I can bring my brother and family here with me,” Katya began to move her thumb against Trixie’s thigh, feeling the soft flesh beneath ripple under her touch.

“But that’s enough about me, where are you from?How did you get here?” Katya asked, looking up at Trixie with eyes that bore into her soul.

“I grew up in small town Wisconsin.Like, really small town.I lived with my grandparents most of my life, since my mother wasn’t great and I never knew my dad.I took the first job I could out of college working for the local news here and I’ve never once looked back,” Trixie said, placing her hand atop Katya’s, moving it further up her thigh ever so slightly.

“Looks like we both left our family behind in one way or another,” Katya looked down at their hands, which were now resting at the hem of Trixie’s skirt.Katya had been so nervous to place her hand on Trixie’s leg to begin with, but it was clearly going well now as her fingers danced along the hemline, dipping under the sticky latex.

“I am so grateful to my grandparents, but I knew I couldn’t live in the middle of nowhere forever,” Trixie held Katya’s gaze for a moment, noticing how she was clinging on to every one of Trixie’s words.From the looks of it, Katya was just as into Trixie and Trixie was in to her.

“I understand completely,” Katya said, dipping her eyes down to where her hand was enveloped below the latex.She walked her fingers closer, dipping a few towards Trixie’s inner thigh.

They chatted, simply getting to know each other.Trixie loved to learn about Katya’s life in Russia, while Katya was interested in what it was like to work for the news in a country full of freedoms.All the while, they touched each other gently; Trixie tapping Katya’s firm bicep as she laughed, Katya grazing her fingers over Trixie’s collarbone to push her hair out of her face.They both had never met someone quite like the other, and they were both equally intrigued.

“Need another round?” Bianca walked up, snapping them out of it.Katya’s hand remained under Trixie’s skirt, but Trixie felt her jump at Bianca’s interruption.

“Yes?” Trixie asked, looking at Katya who nodded. “Please.”

“Good.I was worried you were just going to sit there all night and eye fuck each other without ordering anything from me,” Bianca placed two more drinks in front of them, smiled, cackled, and turned around.

Katya looked at Trixie, who had a horrified expression on her face.It was adorable, how innocent and pure she appeared, only to be called out by her bartender.Katya couldn’t tell if it was faked shock or real disgust.It made Katya laugh, not the sweet, toned down laugh she usually used on first dates, but a full on, wheezing and coughing laugh.

“What?” Trixie asked with a smile, in response to Katya’s laughing fit.

“Your expression!” Katya managed to choke out between wheezes. “It was very cute.”

“Bianca is such an asshole,” Trixie grumbled, taking big gulps of her drink.

“Well, if you don’t want to be around her anymore, I live just down the street.We could get out of here?” Katya asked, wrapping her hand around Trixie’s, which was still gripping her bar glass.

“I would like that, very much,” Trixie grinned, chugging the rest of her drink.Katya did the same, pulling a wad of cash out of her pocket and dumping it on the bar.

“Have fun! Be safe!” Bianca shouted at them as they stumbled out of the bar.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Katya was up against Trixie, hands roaming over her body.Katya was shorter, by a few inches, even with heels on.Trixie leaned down and kissed her, tasting the burning vodka on her lips.It was a soft and gentle kiss at first, but Katya demanded more.Katya’s tongue assaulted Trixie’s bottom lip, begging for entrance.Trixie pulled back, placing her hands around Katya’s waist.

“Are you okay?” Katya asked, also pulling back, her red lipstick smeared off to one side.

“I’ve never been more okay in my life,” Trixie gazed at her.For the first time, since she had met her at Dela’s, that tinge of sadness that hid behind her sea-green eyes was gone.

“Let’s go then,” Katya grabbed her hand and pulled her, dragging her towards her apartment which was only a few blocks away.As they walked, Trixie was a step in front of her and all Katya could think of was ripping off that pretty pink latex skirt with her teeth.She could not wait to be home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As soon as Katya finished locking the door behind her, her hands were all over Trixie; running up her sides, down her back, dipping along the hemline of her skirt and settling on her ass. Katya's mouth attacked hers, tongue gliding across the roof of her mouth, lips circling across her own. Trixie gave back, dipping her hands under Katya's shirt, forcing it above her head and revealing the black lace bra she wore underneath. Trixie looked down at Katya's breasts, stopping for a moment too long before returning to her face. Katya was wearing an almost evil looking grin in response.
> 
> "Like what you see, darling?" Katya said with a snarl and grabbed Trixie by the wrist, leading her to the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I drank (and by drank I mean I chugged in under 30 minutes) an entire bottle of red wine and then wrote this chapter. Enjoy ;)

Katya fumbled with the keys to her apartment.  She could feel Trixie standing behind her, a hand on Katya's shoulder as she struggled to make her fingers work to open the lock.  Finally, she fit the key into the hole and shoved her body against the door, taking Trixie with her.  

Her apartment was modest but comfortable.  It was exactly what Trixie pictured Katya's apartment would look like: dark red curtains hung against the two windows, bright cream walls with various art illustrations dotted across the blank surface, and a worn in couch and arm chair duo encompassed a vintage coffee table that had a multitude of sketches and drawing utensils scattered across it.  

Fortunately, though, Trixie didn't have much time to soak in the scenery, and Katya wasn't in the mood to give a house tour.  As soon as Katya finished locking the door behind her, her hands were all over Trixie; running up her sides, down her back, dipping along the hemline of her skirt and settling on her ass.  Katya's mouth attacked hers, tongue gliding across the roof of her mouth, lips circling across her own.  Trixie gave back, dipping her hands under Katya's shirt, forcing it above her head and revealing the black lace bra she wore underneath.  Trixie looked down at Katya's breasts, stopping for a moment too long before returning to her face.  Katya was wearing an almost evil looking grin in response.

"Like what you see, darling?" Katya said with a snarl and grabbed Trixie by the wrist, leading her to the bedroom.

Katya shoved Trixie down onto her back on the cool, grey comforter and straddled her, pinning Trixie in place with her muscular legs.  Trixie couldn't wait to see her without the jeans on.  Katya placed her hands on either side of Trixie's face as she leaned down to kiss her.  The kiss was much gentler this time, filled with less lust and more of a teasing intention.  Katya's tongue carefully danced around Trixie's lips but without fully committing to make out status.  It appeared lazy, but Trixie knew Katya had other intentions based on the fact that she was pinning Trixie to the bed.  

Katya pulled away and sat back against Trixie's midsection onto her heels.  Trixie looked up at her usually bright eyes, only to notice they had turned dark with desire.  Katya's hands suddenly went up Trixie's shirt and pushed it over her head.  Trixie shuffled out of it and unhooked the back of her bra in the same motion.  The hot pink cups released her breasts, spilling them out against her chest.  Trixie sat up enough to sling the sweater and bra across the room before she was forced back down by Katya. Katya pressed her body against Trixie's, allowing her hands to cup her breasts.  Katya kissed down Trixie's jaw and her neck, before settling on her collarbone.  She nipped and bit her way across Trixie's flesh, with the full intention of leaving marks.  Trixie let out a soft moan at the sharp sensation which caused Katya to bite down harder and smile against her skin.  Trixie arched her back, only to feel Katya's hand press down against her shoulder, keeping her in place.

Katya finally moved beyond her collarbone to her breasts, kissing along the swell of the nipple before taking the entire thing into her mouth.  Trixie gasped at the sudden warmth and felt Katya let out a little laugh against her sensitive skin.  Katya repeated the same thing on the other side, before beginning to lick down Trixie's stomach towards the latex skirt.

"When you showed up in this..." Katya paused, sitting up once again and running her fingers along the waistband of Trixie's latex skirt. "...I could barely breathe." 

Katya bent down and ran her tongue along the waist of the skirt, tasting a bit of rubber from where the latex ran dug into Trixie's skin.  Trixie whined in response.

"I sat there, the entire time, just thinking about how I was going to rip it off you," Katya said against Trixie's flesh, biting the latex with her teeth, causing it to rip.  The small tear spread into a gaping v shape and Katya continued to bite along it until the garment was torn in two, just as she had envisioned.  She peeled it out from underneath Trixie and threw it behind her somewhere onto the floor of her bedroom.

"I've wanted to do that for a while," Katya laughed and Trixie groaned.  There were other ways to get that skirt off, but of course they weren't nearly as sexy as what Katya had just decided to do.

Katya wasn't prepared for what she would see underneath the skirt, though.  Trixie wasn't wearing any panties.  She was there, completely naked, just waiting for Katya to dive in.

"Oh my god," Katya growled before she could stop herself, eyes gazing at Trixie's bare legs and folds.  She could see a hint of wetness forming between Trixie's thighs, and it caused something to stir in her lower stomach.

"Panty lines don't look good under latex," Trixie laughed, catching a glimpse of Katya's shocked expression.

Katya smiled the same evil smile from earlier and shuffled down on the bed so her head could rest comfortably between Trixie's thighs.  She kissed up and down the inside of Trixie's thighs, avoiding her center purposely.  Trixie began to get tired of the teasing and bucked her hip up against Katya's face when she hovered above her.  

"Do you want me to eat you out? Or finger you?" Katya was going to make her ask for it.

Trixie surprised her by lifting her head up, meeting her eyes, and saying "Why not both?"

Katya chuckled and growled "greedy bitch," before bending her head down to lick up the center of Trixie's folds.  Trixie let out a loud moan at the sensation and Katya smiled in response.  Katya's tongue circled around her clit in torturously slow motions, just barely giving Trixie enough friction to feel some kind of relief.  Katya dipped her tongue into Trixie's hole, causing Trixie to whine out something along the lines of "fuck, Katya, oh my god."

Katya pulled back and pressed a finger inside of her, making Trixie arch her back up towards the ceiling and gasp.  Katya moved in and out a few times before adding a second finger, rotating her wrist so she could scratch against Trixie's g-spot.  Katya looked up to see Trixie, eyes rolled back into her head and her hands desperately grasping the sheets.  Katya was absolutely destroying her without even trying, and Trixie couldn't get enough of it.

In a brief moment of clarity, Trixie weeded her fingers into Katya's hair, pushing it out of her face and encouraging her to lean back in towards her pussy.  Katya continued to finger her, as her tongue encircled her clit.  Trixie was moaning a combination of "fuck, Katya" and "oh my god" and "please don't stop" in response.  Katya feared the next morning she would receive a noise complaint taped to her apartment door, but right now it was worth it as she watched Trixie unravel in front of her.

"I'm going to come," Trixie cried out and Katya hastened the pace of her fingers and tongue against Trixie's pussy.  Suddenly, Trixie practically shouted and her thighs clasped against Katya's head as she came.  Katya worked her through it, easing up her pace as Trixie road out the after shocks.  When Trixie had stopped, Katya looked up from her work and saw Trixie, arm draped across her forehead, bleached hair an absolute mess, sweaty and flushed across her chest with bruises beginning to form along her collarbone.  Katya thought she looked hot in the coffee shop, now she thought she looked utterly stunning, all fucked out across Katya's bed.  It was as if Katya's hottest dream had just come true.  

"Jesus Christ," Trixie sighed, as she returned back to the earthly world.  Katya had just transported her to another plane.  She had had good sex, great sex even, but never anything like what Katya had just done to her.  

Katya rose from her position between Trixie's legs, moving up to lay beside her.  Katya's fingers were still went from Trixie's pussy, and Katya licked them clean as Trixie watched.  Trixie moved in to cup Katya's face and kiss her, tasting herself on Katya's lips.  

"That was..." Trixie said, as Katya once again moved atop her, using those incredible arms to keep herself hovering above Trixie.

"Good?" Katya asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"Yeah, you could say that," Trixie smiled, raising her head to continue kissing Katya.  Trixie ran her hands down along Katya's sides, raking her nails over her muscled abs before settling them on her hips.  

Trixie fumbled with the button of Katya's black jeans that she had somehow kept on throughout this whole thing.  Katya threw herself off the bed in one swift movement that Trixie for sure would not be able to replicate, and pulled the jeans down over her hips, taking the matching black lace thong with them.  Trixie noticed a spiral of tattoos along her one side, reaching from her shoulder, down her obliques, and onto her thigh.  They were dark and Trixie couldn't quite make out the design, but she recognized the gold stars and scythe that were practically identical to the stickers on Katya's laptop.  Trixie wasn't sure how she didn't notice her tattoos before.  Katya turned around and Trixie got an amazing view of her ass as she unclipped her bra with one hand.  She returned to the bed, once again laying down next to Trixie, who was soaking in the sight of the beautiful woman next to her.  

Trixie shuffled down the bed a little and motioned for Katya to sit atop her.  Katya smiled, that same evil smile, and rested her thighs on either side of Trixie's head.  Trixie didn't know it yet, but face sitting was one of Katya's favorite pastimes.  

Katya hovered above her and Trixie placed her hands on her hips, guiding Katya down onto her face.  Trixie took one long lick, flattening her tongue, up the center of Katya's pussy, causing her to sharply inhale.  Trixie had one goal, and that was to make Katya feel as good as she had made her feel.

Trixie took her time lapping against Katya's pussy.  Trixie changed her motions constantly, from long licks up her center, to circular motions around her clit, to fucking her tongue in and out of her.  Katya's breathing became more ragged as her hips rolled against Trixie's mouth.  She was getting impatient.

Trixie let one hand run down Katya's thigh and up alongside her mouth, before carefully dipping a finger into her center.  Katya let out something in Russian that Trixie couldn't understand, but the words were slow and low compared to her usual tone.  

Trixie inserted a second finger, carefully curling them against Katya's walls, given that she had forgotten to chop off her acrylics before their date and didn't want to cause her any harm.  Her tongue focused on Katya's clit, running around it in circles.

"Fuck... Trix," Katya practically growled and continued to rut her hips against Trixie's face, "I'm going to come if you keep that up."

Trixie moaned in response and felt Katya's thighs clench around her face.  Katya collapsed over and her hands pulled on Trixie's hair as she let out a combination of a moan and a gasp and came onto Trixie's face.  Trixie gently licked her through the aftershocks, until Katya sat up off Trixie's face and laid down next to her with a huff.

Katya's breathing began to stabilize as she gazed over at Trixie.  Trixie's lips were wet where Katya had just come and she rolled over to meet her gaze.  

"Care if I spend the night?" Trixie asked, not knowing how Katya would respond.  Did she think his was just a hook up or an actual "stay over" kind of date.

"Not at all," Katya scrambled under the bedsheets, beginning to get a chill now that the sweat they had just worked upwards as drying against her skin.  Trixie slithered down next to her, leaning over to kiss Katya once more.  Katya responded gently, before turning over. 

Trixie wanted to snuggle up against her and feel her soft skin against her own while breathing in her scent, but she restrained herself.  She did lay awake a little while longer and watch as Katya's breathing evened out and she began to snore softly.  As creepy as it was, Trixie thought she could watch Katya sleep for hours.  However, she wouldn't have much time to continue doing so, as she quickly found Katya's soft sheets were becoming softer and she drifted off.

 

\---

 

 

 Trixie stirred, opening her eyes to the unfamiliar room.  Various shades of gray encapsulated her in the sheets and lined the walls.  After a brief moment of uncertainty, she remembered she was in Katya's apartment, and they had explosive sex the night before.  She couldn't forget that.  She sat up, making sense of her surroundings.  Looking over to her right, she noticed Katya was still fast asleep.  She dug through the bedding for her phone, only to find it laying face up on the nightstand.  She read the time, 7:45am.  Thankfully, she didn't have to go into the office today and could work from home, otherwise she would have had 6 minutes to make it there. 

She stumbled out of bed, being careful not to disturb Katya.  She threw on her sweater from last night and nothing else, since she didn't have anything anyway.  Katya had utterly destroyed her skirt and she hadn't worn any panties.  Katya looked absolutely precious when she slept, with her long dark lashes covering her closed sea-green eyes.  Her arms were tucked under the pillows, and her shoulders peeked out from beneath the stone colored comforter.  Trixie smiled at her as she made her way to the kitchen.  It was sterile compared to the rest of the house, which looked adequately lived in.  The marble countertops floated atop the dark wood cupboards, which Trixie dug through desperately trying to find coffee.  The coffee pot was plugged in, ready to go in the corner of the counter, but she couldn't find the damn coffee.  

Finally, she opened the correct door and pulled out a mason jar filled with ground coffee.  She dumped some into the filter and pressed the brew button for a full pot.  She was tired, and she assumed Katya would want some too, being as the coffee pot was the only visibly used appliance in the kitchen.  As the coffee did its thing, Trixie looked around the apartment, absorbing the scenery around her.  The pictures on the walls, which she hadn't had the time to examine the night before, were all signed by the same artist with the initials "YPZ".  She figured they were Katya's work, as they all featured Russian influence and contained the colors gold and red.  Trixie took a few steps into the living room and admired her work.  The one that caught her eye in particular featured Stalin, the once great leader of communist Russia.  He was surrounded by an army, facing against a crying, desolate looking population.  If Katya was really the artist, she didn't have a high opinion of her heritage.  

The coffee pot beeped and Trixie hurried back to it, not wanting to wake Katya.  She poured herself a cup of coffee, black, and enjoyed the feeling of the burning liquid sliding down her throat.  God, was she tired.  And sore.  Her entire chest hurt, and she didn't know why.  She had a wild night with Katya, and she wouldn't change it for the world.

Trixie continued to sit alone with her thoughts in the kitchen until she heard a rustling from the bedroom.  A few minutes later, Katya emerged, wearing a pair of flannel pajama pants and an old t-shirt with Russian font on the front that Trixie could not understand.  

"I hope I didn't wake you," Trixie started, as she leaned back against the kitchen island.  

"No, you didn't," Katya yawned, running a hand through her hair.  She was still wearing her makeup from last night, but she still looked flawless.  A smokey eye looks good under any conditions, even after a nights sleep.

"Coffee?" Trixie asked, and Katya nodded in response.  Trixie poured her a cup, as if it was her own house, and passed her the mug across the island.  Katya sat at a bar stool, yawned once more, and began sipping on the coffee.

"I had a great time last night," Trixie said in a desperate attempt to break the silence.

Me too," Katya agreed, looking up at Trixie from across the island. "But who said it had to end last night?"

That same wicked grin swept across Katya's face as she chugged the coffee.  Trixie stood before her, naked except for a little white sweater, with an expression of shock on her face.  Katya had known her less than a week, but she already loved to keep Trixie on her toes.  When Trixie got all hot and bothered, Katya found it not only adorable, but also a little amusing.  

"Let me get through this cup of coffee and then we can do whatever you want," Trixie laughed, taking a few gulps before setting the cup down on the counter.  She walked to the island, setting her elbows across from where Katya was sitting.

"Did you create all these pictures in here?" Trixie asked.

"Yes" Katya answered plainly, continuing to drink her coffee.  She also couldn't take her eyes off of Trixie's breasts.  When she rested her elbows together like that, they looked even more spectacular than usual.

"They're really interesting, and I like the Russian influence," Trixie picked her coffee back up and finished the cup.  She set it in the sink before returning her attention to Katya, who was tracking her every move.  

"Thank you.  I like to draw upon the things I'm familiar with in order to create new art.  I am proud of where I come from, even if we aren't necessarily loved by Americans," Katya chuckled and finished her coffee as well.  She rose from where she was sitting in against the island and slung her arms around Trixie's neck. 

"I don't know about you Trix, but I need a shower," Katya's voice deepened as she spoke, and Trixie felt a stirring in her lower stomach. "Want to join me?"

Trixie didn't even have to answer, because Katya was already dragging her to the bathroom.  The bathroom was an en suite, located off to the right of Katya's bedroom, and totally luxurious.  The shower was huge, easily enough for two people, with big sliding glass doors and a rain style shower head that could douse both of them equally.  The tile was marble, including the sink and the shower.  The floor was a black slate, adding to elegance of the room.  Trixie was impressed, Katya's apartment wasn't super fancy, but this part certainly was.

Katya turned on the water and set the temperature.  She dropped her flannel pajama bottoms and lifted the t-shirt over her head.  She stepped into the shower without waiting for Trixie, but did leave the glass door opened.  The room began to fog up as Trixie threw her sweater off and jumped in the shower with Katya.  As soon as she was under the water, she felt Katya's body against hers.  Katya was warm, even under the flowing hot water.  Soon after, Katya's lips were assaulting hers, begging for entrance to her mouth.  Trixie granted it, of course, and began to let her hands run along Katya's toned body.  God damn, Trixie was so lucky.  Katya was so hot.  Trixie let her fingers run along Katya's sides as their lips played tag, her fingers tracing the outlines of Katya's tattoos.  

Slowly but surely, Trixie began to kiss down Katya's body, her mouth stopping when it got to her hips.  She licked along them, causing Katya to shutter beneath her touch.  Trixie kneeled on the ground, the cold tile sending shocks through her knees, and began to eat out the hot woman in front of her.  Katya was much more vocal this time, maybe because it was early in the morning and she wasn't afraid of waking the neighbors, or because Trixie had learned what she liked last night and stuck to that rhythm.  Nonetheless, Trixie had Katya moaning her name and coming in a matter of minutes.

Katya muttered something in Russian as she road out her orgasm with Trixie's tongue against her pussy.  Trixie loved hearing her native language, knowing that what she was causing Katya to feel was so good she didn't have time to translate it to English.  

As Trixie rose from her spot on the shower floor, Katya poured shampoo into her hands and began to run it through Trixie's long, blonde locks.  She took her time, massaging her scalp and playing with Trixie's curls.  After instructing Trixie to rinse it out, she followed with conditioner and repeated the process, working her fingers through the tangles that had built up.  Katya didn't miss her long haired days and, upon working through Trixie's hair, was so glad she decided to go for a chop as soon as she arrived in the states.   She then gathered some body wash in her hands and began to work it over her own body and then over Trixie's.  She started with Trixie's chest, noticing the cascading bruises that had formed from her escapades the night before and then worked the suds down the rest of Trixie's body.  Katya paused, making sure to spend extra time groping Trixie's ass and breasts, before pushing her under the water and diving between her legs.

Katya shoved two fingers into Trixie's pussy as she began to wash away the soap.  Trixie was caught off guard by this, causing her eyes to do that thing where they went really wide and her mouth hangs open a little bit more than usual.  Katya's wicked grin reappeared as she twisted her fingers inside Trixie.  Katya stood only a few inches shorter and Trixie collapsed, moaning into her neck.  Katya chuckled as she continued to finger Trixie, taking her thumb and swiping it across her clit.  After a few minutes, Trixie was whining and coming onto Katya's hand.  

Satisfied and clean, they both stepped out of the shower, drying off with Katya's bright white linens.  Katya took a robe down from the back of the bathroom door and handed it to Trixie, who graciously accepted it.  It was silk, patterned with black and yellow flowers.  Trixie wrapped it around her body as Katya put back on her Russian t-shrit and flannel pants combo.  She wiped the condensation off the mirror and Trixie was able to get a good look at herself for the first time since the night before.

The first thing she noticed wasn't the bags under her eyes, her undone hair, or her bare lips stripped of pink lipstick, but the bruises across her chest.  There were nine, almost perfectly alined with her collarbone.

"Oh my god, Katya!" Trixie exclaimed, taking a few steps closer to the sink and pulling her robe apart to inspect the marks on her skin.

"What?" Katya turned around, only to find Trixie in a panic.

"Look at this! How am I ever going to cover these?" Trixie groaned and continued to fuss over her appearance.  

This caused Katya to chuckle under her breath and continue to find amusement over Trixie's little freakout.

"Stop laughing! This isn't funny!" Trixie whined.

"You weren't complaining last night," Katya grumbled and went to stand next to her.

"Oh my god I had no idea they were going to be this dark!" Trixie pressed against one of Katya's bite marks, the angry purple flesh turning white under the pressure from her finger.  

"Listen, it's no big deal.  You can wear a t-shirt or button up for the next few days.  No one will notice," Katya purred, wrapping her arms around Trixie's waist from behind. "It means you won't be able to wear v-necks and show off those fantastic tits to anyone else.  Which I am totally fine with keeping to myself."  Katya kissed her neck and Trixie melted.  

"You're right, it's not that big of a deal," Trixie breathed.

"If it really bothers you, I'll try and be more gentle next time," Katya said.  Trixie made a note.  She said next time!  Katya wanted to see her again!  She tried to maintain her composure, but she was really freaking out on the inside.

"I have to go, I'm so sorry," Trixie said, despite Katya's lips still attached to her neck.

"I wish you would stay," Katya moaned.

"Believe me, I wish I could," Trixie raised a hand and ran it through her hair, causing Katya to break her grasp.

"I understand.  Here, let me put my number in your phone," Katya said, grabbing Trixie's phone from the sink and holding it up so Trixie could put her password in.  Trixie did, and Katya created a contact for herself.  Trixie texted the number so Katya would have her information as well.

"Here, I feel bad I ruined your skirt last night," Katya gave Trixie a pair of sweatpants, "I know they're not much but they'll at least get you home clothed," she laughed.

Trixie dressed, said her goodbyes to Katya, and went down to the street.  She grabbed the first taxi she saw, told him her address, and began the ride back to her apartment.  Almost as soon as she was settled in the backseat, she received a text from Katya.

_Would love to see you again.  How about Saturday? -K_

Trixie smiled at her phone and typed back a response.

_Saturday is great, but why wait?  What are you doing tonight?_

In a few seconds, she received a reply.

_Have to finish some sketches for a company, but I can do that this morning.  Tonight sounds great.  Send me your address._

Trixie responded with her location and a time for Katya to arrive.  Trixie realized she hadn't been this happy and satisfied in a long time.  Katya was someone she met by pure chance, in the back of a random coffee shop in a desolate town.  However, she was so glad she had decided to show up that day.  Trixie couldn't help but think what would have happened had she decided to skip Dela's that day.  Would Katya have found someone else?  Would she never have returned to the coffee shop if Trixie wasn't there to catch her attention?  It didn't matter now.  Trixie hadn't even known Katya a full week and they were going on their second date.  Trixie looked forward to it and realized she not only had to clean her apartment, but come up with something that would impress Katya enough to convince her to go for a third date.  

That wouldn't be hard, since Katya was just as into Trixie as Trixie was into her.  She felt an emptiness, which she hadn't felt since she left her mother in Russia, when Trixie left her apartment that morning.  Her blonde curls, still wet from the shower, bouncing along with her.  Trixie wasn't like anyone Katya had ever met before, and she was grateful for that, since none of her past relationships had ever worked out.  Trixie was different, and Katya never wanted to let her go.  

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie moved them to the couch, where she aimlessly turned on the television. Flipping through the channels, she found a few reruns of a shitty reality show that Katya seemed to enjoy. It was light, funny, and Katya found enjoyment in it. Trixie was sold. As they watched, Trixie leaned into Katya’s smaller frame, tucking her legs underneath her. Katya draped an arm around Trixie and breathed in her scent – vanilla and rose. They stayed like this for what felt like eternity, neither wanting to distance from the other. If this is what heaven felt like, Trixie may start believing in a god.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I've finally figured out a direction for this story, so updates will be coming more regularly now. Thank you for your patience and constant love on this fic <3 I appreciate you always. Also, sorry in advance. A lot of this chapter is set up and will make sense in the new few updates.
> 
> Xo -G

Katya was coming over. And Trixie was nervous. So nervous. She felt so brave inviting her to her apartment earlier in the day, practically as soon as she had left Katya's place, but now that their agreed upon meeting time of 7pm was drawing closer, Trixie's nerves were beginning to set in. 

She had managed to make some sort of dinner - a fancy pasta recipe with sides of asparagus and crusty bread - that looked much more complicated than it actually was.  As a vegetarian, Trixie had learned to cook from an early age, since eating at places that didn't serve meat wasn't always an option.  

She tidied her apartment for the third time that day, making sure not a pink pillow was out of place on the white couch, the books on the coffee table were in alphabetical order, and not a speck of dust was anywhere to be seen.  It was 6:54 and Katya would be here any minute.  She had never wanted to impress a girl so much before.  Something about Katya was different and Trixie was drawn to her - maybe it was those seafoam colored eyes or her vibrant, eclectic personality, maybe it was the dirty blonde bob that she rocked at every angle.  Trixie wasn't sure, but it had her on cloud nine.

She ran to the bathroom and once again looked herself over.  Her hair was teased high and fell in ringlets around her shoulder before circling down her back.  Her eyes were rimmed with dark liner and brown shadow, with pink lipstick covering her mouth.  She decided on a simple pink sundress that flared out at the bottom.  Of course, she paired it with some white heels.  She looked put together, but not overly done up.  Plus, the dress wouldn't require any ripping if Katya decided she wanted to take it off. And god, did she hope Katya would.

The sex they had the night before (and this morning) had been explosive.  Trixie had slept with enough people to know what was good and what wasn’t.  And Trixie knew this was really really good, great even.

She turned on some music, smooth old-style country, to play softly in the background.  She couldn’t stand to sit in silence waiting for the knock on her door to finally make itself heard. 

Finally, after what felt like years but was only a few moments, a soft knock came from her front door.  It took everything in Trixie not to sprint to the door and control herself, opting for a soft strut.  She didn’t want to seem overly excited, even though her skin was on fire simply thinking about Katya’s touch.

When Trixie opened the door, there she was.  Her blue-green eyes shone brightly amidst the black liner haphazardly smudged around them.  Her skin was flawless with little flush, her deep cheekbones sinking in, casting a grey shadow underneath them.  Her blonde locks were straightened, emphasizing the asymmetry of her haircut. She wore a simple black t-shirt with an obnoxiously large, chunky piece of costume jewelry.  Her black skinny jeans were tucked into combat boots (typical lesbian attire) and Trixie almost chuckled at the predictability.

“Hey,” Katya said, soaking in the blonde barbie before her.

“Hey,” Trixie said back.  “Come on in, I made dinner!”

Katya stepped inside and Trixie escorted her to the table off from the kitchen, which was set up for two with a couple candles and bottle of wine in the middle.  Trixie’s house was much more reserved than Katya expected.  Katya had fully anticipated pink walls, fuzzy carpets, and chandeliers in every room, much like Barbie’s Dream House.  Instead, she was faced with simple grey hardwood floors, neutral walls, and soft white furniture with only hints of pink.  It looked clean, yet still lived in. 

They ate, picking up right where they left off. It was like not a singular moment of time had lapsed between their previous visit.  Now that they were together, time seemed to stop, and the world focused in on the two of them.  When Trixie talked, Katya hung onto her every word.  When Katya went into her past life in Russia (strategically leaving out some of the more traumatic details) Trixie looked at her with those big brown eyes, colored like rich dark chocolate. 

Trixie laughed when Katya continuously told her how delicious the cooking was.  Katya wasn’t much of a cook, as her mother had traditionally done that back in Russia. She knew how to use a microwave and maybe boil some water on a good day.  The fact that Trixie could make a meal out of nearly nothing impressed her. Katya loved the sound of Trixie’s laugh – loud and full of enthusiasm.  No fake chuckles.

Once they had finished eating, Trixie refused to let Katya help her clean up. Katya protested, since cleaning up from dinner was the one part of making a meal that she could actually offer some help in.  Trixie dismissed her, pouring her another glass of wine and making her sit behind the bar top, left to simply watch.  Katya admired Trixie’s concentration when scrubbing the burnt sauce off the corners of the pan, but particularly, she focused a lot of her time on Trixie’s curves, which were highlighted by her choice of dress.  She particularly enjoyed when Trixie leaned over a bit too much and Katya got a nearly full view of her cleavage, barely contained by the dress.

After clean-up was complete, Trixie moved them to the couch, where she aimlessly turned on the television.  Flipping through the channels, she found a few reruns of a shitty reality show that Katya seemed to enjoy.  It was light, funny, and Katya found enjoyment in it. Trixie was sold.  As they watched, Trixie leaned into Katya’s smaller frame, tucking her legs underneath her.  Katya draped an arm around Trixie and breathed in her scent – vanilla and rose.  They stayed like this for what felt like eternity, neither wanting to distance from the other.  If this is what heaven felt like, Trixie may start believing in a god.

As the clock ticked past the midnight hour, into the early am’s, Katya grew restless.  Trixie laying against her was enough to satisfy her for the evening, but now she craved more.  Her touch, her warmth, her attention.  Katya wanted to feel all of her, all at once. 

Trixie led them to the bedroom.  Katya laid, entangled in the softness of pink silk and Trixie’s skin. Katya peppered Trixie with kisses, and Trixie reciprocated.  The mood was entirely different than last night, where they were hungry and eager, rushing through the delicacies of intimacy.  Tonight, they took their time exploring each other’s bodies.  Katya’s hands traveled slowly across Trixie’s curves, while Trixie’s fingers carefully traced Katya’s tattoos. 

They had sex, but not the explosive, chaotic sex of the night before.  It was different, filled with gentle kisses, delicate touches, and overall slowness.  They took the time to learn about each other, what the other liked, through soft moans and encouragements, rather than rushing towards completion.  Katya came more times than she cared to admit, as well as getting Trixie to complete ecstasy at least four times. 

As they came down from their final highs together, Trixie tucked herself into Katya’s side, falling asleep quickly.  Katya danced her fingers along Trixie’s back, letting her thoughts wander as Trixie snored softly against her chest.

She hadn’t been in the states long, so she hadn’t had many opportunities to date women.  No woman she had ever met, however, could be compared to Trixie.  She was so unique – from the way she dressed, to the way she talked, to the way she carried herself.  Katya had never encountered someone so enticing, so entrancing, so completely captivating.  Was she falling in love?  This is what love feels like, right?

As her thoughts swirled around in her head, nearly making her dizzy, Katya began to feel her anxiety seeping in.  What if Trixie didn’t actually love her, but just felt bad for her because she was an immigrant?  What if this was just a fling and Trixie didn’t actually want a relationship?  What if Katya was entirely misreading her signals and Trixie wasn’t actually into her at all?  As Katya stared at the ceiling, her mind running circles around itself, she panicked.  Carefully, she slipped from beneath Trixie, being careful not to wake her in the process. Almost silently, she slipped on her clothes, grabbed her bag, and made an exit.  She couldn’t stay here while a panic attack threatened to present itself. Trixie couldn’t see her like that.

She climbed down the stairs from Trixie’s apartment, her feet colliding with the concrete beneath her as she quickly, definitely not walking but not quite running, made her way down the sidewalk.  She made the fifteen-minute journey back to her own apartment in only ten, triple checking her lock as she stood inside the door. 

She felt like she couldn’t breathe.  Her body was constricting around her and her skin felt to tight.  Tears came without warning and she nearly collapsed onto the couch.  The same couch that Trixie had once sat on and gazed at her with those beautiful brown eyes.  The same couch where Trixie had once kissed her.  That thought caused an entirely new set of tears of fall from her eyes and run down her face.  

Katya curled into herself, barely able to breathe, shutters still running through her body.  It was well past four in the morning when her body finally gave up and allowed her to collapse into sleep, her eyes sealing shut with tears. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More set up for the next chapter. It's going to be explosive. Regardless, I hope you enjoy this one. It's over 3k words of pure angst. Also, your comments literally keep me alive, so anything below would be appreciated. As always, thank you for reading.
> 
> Xo -G

Katya broke the crust along her eyelids, allowing them to flutter open. The salt from her dried tears made it difficult, stretching the delicate skin painfully as she squinted against the bright light streaming in from her living room windows.  She moved her joints, feeling them crackle and pop back to life.  She snapped her neck into place.  She ached all over.  She wasn’t in her teen years anymore and falling asleep on the couch was not conducive to her spinal alignment. 

She heard the familiar buzz of a silenced cell phone somewhere in the distance. She groaned and forced herself to stand, the lack of sleep and physical exhaustion from a breakdown causing every muscle in her body to ache.  She wandered over to her kitchen and dug through her bag that was carelessly tossed atop the counter in the early hours of the morning, its contents spilling out in every which way.  Among the miscellaneous possessions and lots of trash, Katya was able to locate her phone. Katya unlocked it to find eleven unread messages, all from Trixie, the little pink heart with the bow emoji next to her name staring into her soul.  Trixie put that there one night when she feigned disappointment over Katya’s lack of emojis in her contacts list.

**Trixie 7:46am – Hey, you know you totally could’ve spent the night.  You didn’t have to leave.  I was going to make breakfast and coffee.  Talk soon?**

**Trixie 8:27am – Are you okay?  I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.  You didn’t have to stay if you didn’t want to and I’m sorry if I assumed something I shouldn’t have?**

**Trixie 9:48am – Hello?  Katya, are you alive?**

**Trixie 9:49am – Please call me, I need to know if you’re okay.**

**Trixie 9:50am – Katya.**

**Trixie 9:50am – I don’t know if you’re mad at me or what’s the deal, but please just let me know you made it home safe?**

**Trixie 9:50am – Call me.**

**Trixie 9:51am – At least text me back.**

**Trixie 9:51am – Please.**

**Trixie 9:51am – I just need to know you’re okay.**

**Trixie 10:05am – Whatever. I see how it is.**

Shit.  Katya glanced at the clock.  It was approximately 10:15am.  This was the latest she had slept since college, probably.  A total psychotic break does a number on the body.  She debated calling Trixie but after some consideration was unable to come up with a good enough excuse as to why she bailed last night.  Laying out all her trauma, with the added bonus of mental illness was a lot for anyone to handle, let alone Trixie, whom Katya had honestly just met.  Sure, they had slept together and were spending a lot of time in each other’s company, but they hadn’t known the other that long, all things considered. 

**Katya: 10:17am – Hi, sorry. I’m okay.**

That was the best she could do, and she resented herself for it.  It was pathetic against the immense amount of worry that Trixie must have gone through in the last few hours.  Katya felt guilt creeping up from the pit of her stomach along with the familiar tingle of anxiety that made her skin feel a little too tight.

**]Trixie: 10:17am – Thanks.**

Trixie’s short reply was completely out of character against her normal lengthy responses to whatever they were discussing at the time.  However, the quick response indicated she had been waiting to hear back from Katya.  Katya felt terrible for putting her through all this.  She should’ve known better than to get involved with someone so pure and so good, so quickly.

**Katya: 10:18am – Sorry again. Talk soon?**

]She at least wanted to try and offer Trixie an explanation.  She just hadn’t come up with a good enough one already that wouldn’t be a complete lie, but also not the whole truth. 

**Trixie: 10:18am – Working all day.  Later tonight.**

**Katya: 10:19am – Okay.**

Katya had really fucked this up.  Trixie was understandably pissed at Katya’s disappearance and then failure to respond when Trixie was clearly concerned about her whereabouts.   Katya actually cared for Trixie.  She cared for her a lot.  And it was scary.  Katya had never felt this way towards anyone, especially not someone she had known a little over a week. 

Katya flopped back on her couch, letting out a sigh in an attempt to disguise a sob that threatened to take over her body.  She didn’t want to rekindle the events of last night, where her anxiety literally caused her to walk away from the one person that made her feel somewhat alright.  Regardless, the tears started flowing and wouldn’t stop no matter how hard she tried to contain them.  She brushed them away with the back of her hand, the warm dampness smearing onto her cheeks.  As soon as one was gone, another streamed down the same path, wet rivers falling in zig zag patterns down her flushed face.  She didn’t think her body could manufacture any more tears after the waterworks of last night, but she was wrong.

Katya hadn’t felt this worthless in some time.  The last time she felt this hollow, she left Russia in search of a new start in a new country with new people and a new job.  That was nearly two months ago now.  Since living across the pond in the land of opportunity, Katya had felt nothing but bliss.  Subconsciously, she knew that high wasn’t going to last forever, but she had hoped for it regardless.

She forced herself to sit up, as sitting in self-pity was slightly better than laying down in it.  Her breathing evened out as she got control of herself and the tears began to dry. Now she had to develop a game plan. What in the hell was she going to say to Trixie?

Swearing to herself, Katya forced herself to stand, running a hand through her hair. She made her way over to her kitchen counter and bag again.  After a little digging, she pulled out a lighter. Making her way to her living room, she opened the shallow drawer on one of the coffee tables and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.  She promised her mother she would try and quit when she got to the States, and she had largely been successful.  This was her emergency stash that she hadn’t yet dug into.  She hadn’t felt the desire to smoke once since being in America, until now.

Pulling one from the fresh pack, Katya placed the tan end to her lips. She flicked the lighter a few times before she was able to get a spark and finally inhaled.  The familiar burn of smoke inside her lungs suddenly eased her. The fog drifted from her head, her vision appeared sharper, and her fingers and toes tingled with the relaxation that only nicotine could provide. She moved towards the window and cracked it open.  No need to get a nasty letter from her landlord or neighbors about smoking, since she had no idea what the policy was.

Halfway through the cigarette, Katya was feeling better.  She still hadn’t quite solved her Trixie problem, but at least she was able to think about it without wanting to crawl out of her own skin.

Sweet Trixie, the cute platinum blonde who looked like she walked out of Barbie’s Dreamhouse.  She smelled like cotton candy and vanilla.  Her curves made Katya drool just picturing them in her head. Her laugh carried through a room, sweeping everyone into the conversation to find out what was so funny, even if it was as small as Katya forgetting how to say a thought in English and switching to Russian mid-sentence.  The way she looked at Katya with those dark chocolate eyes made Katya forget the thoughts running circles in her head, even if it was just for a second.  When Trixie kissed her, her whole body lit on fire.  She wasn’t like anyone Katya had ever met before.

And when they talked, they really talked.  Trixie listed to Katya tell her stories about her life back in Russia much like a child watches a colorful television program – filled with wonder and longing to know more.  Trixie told Katya about her rough upbringing in Wisconsin and how she desperately wanted to get as far from the place as she could as soon as she graduated.  She had confided parts of her trauma in Katya. Why couldn’t Katya do the same?

Katya stubbed out the first cigarette and pulled another from the pack.  Lighting it up, she quickly realized that there was no escaping the inevitable. She knew what she had to do.  She had to tell Trixie the truth.  No bullshit, no lies.  The only way it would make sense was if Katya told her what actually happened.  If Trixie still wanted to stick around after that, then it was her prerogative.  As Katya took another drawl from the cigarette between her index and middle finger, she prepared to take a huge risk and tell a story she had never told anyone before. 

**Katya: 11:02am – Come over tonight if you feel like it.  I think we should talk in person instead of over the phone.**

 

***********

 

**Trixie 9:50am – Katya.**

**Trixie 9:50am – I don’t know if you’re mad at me or what’s the deal, but please just let me know you made it home safe?**

**Trixie 9:50am – Call me.**

**Trixie 9:51am – At least text me back.**

**Trixie 9:51am – Please.**

**Trixie 9:51am – I just need to know you’re okay.**

Trixie slammed her phone down against her bed in frustration.  Katya had bailed, sometime in the middle of the night while she was asleep, and now Katya didn’t even have the decency to answer her text messages.  Trixie wasn’t expecting anything at this point and just genuinely wanted to know if she made it home safe.

She thought she had been reading the signals correctly.  Katya seemed really interested in her; the way those sea-blue eyes stared into her soul didn’t leave much room for many other interpretations. Katya had told Trixie about her life in Russia, her family, and her struggles with ultimately leaving her home country.  Katya had held her and stroked her hair while Trixie told Katya about her struggles growing up, her tough childhood, and her completely messed up family.  Katya wiped away Trixie’s tears when Trixie talked about her grandparents who practically raised her and were no longer in this world. Katya had wrapped her strong arms around Trixie and told her she didn’t have to say anymore unless she was ready. To Trixie, it seemed like she truly cared.

Had it all been a lie?  A ploy to get Trixie to sleep with her?  It didn’t seem to be, since Trixie had slept with her long before they had deep conversations.  Maybe Trixie was overthinking the whole thing and Katya had gotten wrapped up in some sort of emergency that she had to leave quickly in the middle of the night.  That would’ve been the morning in Russia, right? Maybe she had to catch a quick flight home?

If that was the case, though, and Katya truly cared about her, wouldn’t Katya have answered her messages?  Maybe Katya was playing mind games in a convoluted attempt to force Trixie to show how much she cared about her in order for Katya to fulfill some narcissistic desire.  Maybe she was trying to manipulate Trixie for her own sick satisfaction.

**Trixie 10:05am – Whatever. I see how it is.**

Whatever Katya’s deal was, Trixie wasn’t going to play the game.  She finally had a successful career, good reputation, and a solid group of friends that she could turn to.  Trixie wasn’t about to let some woman she had just met a little over a week ago take all that away from her, no matter how much Trixie cared about her. 

And Trixie cared a lot.  She had never met someone like Katya.  From the moment Trixie had run into her at Dela’s, Trixie knew Katya was different.  Something about her, her very presence, was intriguing.  Trixie was hooked instantly.  Shunning Katya away like this hurt, and it hurt bad, but Trixie didn’t have the energy to deal with this right now.

Trixie forced herself out of bed and turned on the coffee maker.  She had preprogrammed it to make two cups, so if Katya got up before her all she would have to do is press a button.  Trixie reconfigured the machine and it produced a singular cup of coffee.  This was a much later start to her day than she anticipated, but she could still be productive.

As Trixie poured her sugary creamer into her coffee, she heard a buzz come from across the room.  She had been hearing phantom buzzes all morning, anxiously awaiting any kind of reply from Katya.  She was tempted to ignore it because it was probably her mind playing tricks once again.  However, she wandered over to check her phone anyway on the off chance that Katya had decided to dignify Trixie with an answer.

**Katya: 10:17am – Hi, sorry. I’m okay.**

That was it? After all the worrying Trixie had put herself through, that was the best that Katya could come up with? Trixie was not quite angry, but definitely more than upset.  She had no right to be hurt, since Katya was a free adult who could come and go as she pleased, but Trixie was anyway. 

**Trixie: 10:17am – Thanks.**

Her reply was short, brash, and to the point. She wanted to write Katya an entire dissertation on why she was upset, hurt, and frustrated, but refrained from it. She had only known Katya a little over a week.  No matter how deep their connection felt, they were practically strangers.  Katya was a stranger Trixie just happened to pour her life out to, cry in her arms, and have incredible sex with.

**Katya: 10:18am – Sorry again. Talk soon?**

Katya’s reply came almost instantly.  Of course, Trixie wanted to talk to her, but that probably wasn’t the best idea when she was all worked up like this. 

**Trixie: 10:18am – Working all day.  Later tonight.**

Trixie knew she wouldn’t get much work done today. She would probably end up editing or revising more works for publication, since those didn’t require as much brainpower as writing a completely new piece.  She already knew the majority of her day would be spent dwelling on Katya and all that had happened between them.  Overthinking would get the best of her.

**Katya: 10:19am – Okay.**

It was a simple acknowledgement, probably just letting Trixie know that Katya had read her message.  It was not necessarily a promise they would talk later, but the potential was there.  And Trixie really wanted to do that, but she had to think of what to say first.

Trixie threw her phone down, not bothering to reply, and settled herself on her couch.  She opened her laptop, typed in her password, and stared at her desktop. The various projects she had started were scattered across her screen, all begging for her attention.  She sipped her coffee and wanted to focus on them, but simply couldn’t.  Her attention wasn’t on her work as much as it was on what she would say tonight to a particular person.

What would she say?  Trixie had no right to be angry.  As she had dwelled on before, Katya was an adult who could make her own choices.  If she didn’t want to be around Trixie, she didn’t have to be.  They weren’t even officially dating.  Trixie couldn’t hold Katya responsible for hurting her,

Regardless, she was hurt.  She was hurt severely.  She hadn’t pressured Katya to put a label on what they were because she thought it was already implied.  Deep, emotional connections of their nature didn’t come around often.  Sure, the sex was great.  But what was greater was their conversation, even their silent ones. Trixie could understand what Katya was saying and feeling with a simple glance.  Her sea-blue eyes bore years of pain, stress, and repression.  Trixie could see through her tough exterior of leather jackets and combat boots to a heart that was bigger than she had ever encountered before.  When in her presence, Trixie never wanted to leave. 

She had told Katya practically her entire life story.  Katya had stroked her hair while Trixie recounted graphic memories.  Katya had wiped away her tears when Trixie simply couldn’t contain the pain behind her words.  Katya had held her when she couldn’t go on and told her she didn’t have to. Katya’s actions were not characteristic of someone who wanted to manipulate.  They weren’t actions of someone who didn’t care.  They were actions of love.  Something bigger was going on with Katya and Trixie yearned to know what it was.

In an attempt to keep some of her sanity, Trixie threw herself into her work.  She began editing a document for a piece she had been procrastinating for a while.  It felt good to be working and kept her mind from wandering too deeply into what the hell could possibly be going on with Katya. She was in the middle of the piece when her phone buzzed next to her. 

**Katya: 11:02am – Come over tonight if you feel like it.  I think we should talk in person instead of over the phone.**

Trixie’s breath caught in her throat.  Maybe Katya wasn’t giving up on her.  Maybe Katya was going to explain.  Trixie thought that if Katya was going to try and offer some bullshit excuse, it would be easier to detect that lie in person than over the phone. Plus, Trixie did better with face-to-face conversation.  It is easier to understand the emotions behind a person when you are looking at their face, which is always a dead giveaway of true feelings.

**Trixie: 11:03am – Yes, I would like that.  I’ll let you know when I’m on my way this evening.**

Trixie let out a sigh of relief when she hit send, some physical tension in her body releasing with it.  Now, all she had to do was wait around a few hours in a state of distress and run through every possible scenario in her head of what Katya was going to say to her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. It was honestly quite difficult to write. Warning: mentions of death and past trauma. It's nothing graphic, I promise, but if that kind of stuff upsets you, you may want to skip past this one.
> 
> This is the second to last chapter. I am sad to see this fic go, but also very excited for what I have planned next. Thanks for coming along for the ride.
> 
> -G

Katya’s entire body felt tingly.  Maybe it was from the half pack of cigarettes she had managed to smoke during the daylight hours.  Maybe it was her anxiety rearing its ugly head once again.  Maybe it was withdrawal symptoms left over from her time as a user.  Maybe it was pure, unadulterated nerves.  It was probably that last one.

The air in her apartment felt a little too hot.  She adjusted the thermostat twice already – anymore and she would be absolutely obliterating her bank account with the amount of air conditioning she was currently using.  It was set at 63 degrees, and Katya was still too hot. 

She had paced around her apartment, from her bedroom door to her kitchen, so much within the last three hours she was beginning to wear a path in the lush carpeting. 

She hadn’t eaten.  Hadn’t drank anything.  Just smoked. It had been almost nine hours since she had last heard from Trixie.

Katya was too busy to do anything because she had been turning over and over in her mind what she was going to say to Trixie.  She was calculating all the possibilities and running every worst-case scenario she could think of.  It was like she was stuck in some kind of time loop, where nothing really moved forwards, and nothing moved backwards.  Rather, she was forced to live out the rest of her existence in this perpetual state of waiting. A perpetual state of absolute agony.

How exactly does one delicately delve into past trauma that is so suppressed that they themselves aren’t even sure what truly happened?  How was she going to explain it to Trixie in a clear, concise manner that wouldn’t make her sound like she should be in a professional facility when she couldn’t even explain it to herself in that way?  Katya couldn’t define what happened to her for her own sanity, how in the hell was she going to talk to Trixie?

While her trauma was buried deep, there were many layers of sediment that had built atop it.  It had acted as a trigger for her already existent mental health issues.  Katya’s anxiety had always been lurking deep within her, but it wasn’t brought to the surface until recent events.  She masked her trauma by allowing herself to become an anxiety filled disaster which destroyed everything in its path.  This caused her to develop a dependence on drugs, alcohol, whatever she could get her hands on, in order to stop the anxiety. She became a trauma filled, anxious, druggie, which left her with PTSD, and that’s why she jumped out of Trixie’s bed to go have a panic attack.  Now, she didn’t know how to explain this in a nice way to the pretty Barbie doll she had taken a particular liking to.

There really was no way to sugar coat it.  Katya was just going to have to get on with it.  She was going to have to tell someone before she internally combusted.  And Trixie just happened to be that someone.  Katya was preparing herself to rip off a Band-Aid that had been on her skin way too long - the edges covered in super glue and duct tape.  Ripping this off was going to hurt like a bitch. And the fact that she was exposing herself to Trixie, whom she didn’t know well enough to know how Trixie would react in a situation like this, made it an even more painful thought to entertain.

A soft knock coming from her front door ripped Katya out of her distressed thoughts.  She quickly looked in the mirror next to her door before opening it.  Her hair was messy, despite her attempts to tame it. Her face was flushed, eyes puffy, both fun byproducts of anxiety.  Nonetheless, she opened the door to a very solemn looking Trixie.

Her hair was pulled back away from her face into a haphazard ponytail.  Her face was scrubbed clean of makeup, a look that Katya had never seen.  She had on an oversized shirt and leggings.  She somehow looked amazing – if Katya tried the same look, she would appear insane. 

“Sorry I meant to text you first.  I came right from working,” Trixie looked up at her, those chocolate eyes wide.

“You’re fine, come in,” Katya stepped aside, and Trixie filled her place.  They made the proper entry into Katya’s apartment.  Trixie took her place on the right side of the worn couch – the same place that Katya had collapsed the night before.  The same place where they first kissed.

Katya brought over two glasses of water and placed one in front of Trixie, who muttered a soft “thanks” and nothing more.

“Trix,” Katya started.  Trixie looked up to meet her eyes – sea green crashing with chocolate brown.  “I don’t know what to say.”

“Try.” Trixie stated bluntly.  “Help me understand what happened Katya.  I thought we had a good thing going here, but apparently there’s some shit that I am unaware of and I feel like I should be in the loop here.”

“I want to start by saying I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have left with no explanation.  I shouldn’t have slept through your first eleven messages. I am sorry I hurt you or made you feel like you read the signals wrong, when you didn’t.  I’m sorry for --” Katya started before she was interrupted by Trixie.

“Katya, it’s fine.  Just tell me what the fuck is going on please,” Trixie wasn’t in the mood to listen to Katya ramble.  It wasn’t usually an issue for her, she had grown used to the constant chatter.  But Trixie was tired, emotionally and physically. She just wanted to know if they were going to patch this up, or if they were going to walk away from this good thing they had started. 

“Okay.  I have never talked about this with anyone so please bear with me here.” Katya started.

“In Russia, homosexuality is traditionally considered a disease.  Even though the government legally says it isn’t a crime, in the general public it’s different.  Growing up, I would visit underground clubs and gatherings of queer people.  Despite public ridicule, it’s a thriving network.”  Katya continued.

“One night, we were at this bar outside Moscow. Even though Moscow is a big city, the surrounding area is still very traditional.  The bar was raided, Trixie.  Set aflame by a group of violent men, many of whom were supported by the government, though they would never say that.”  Katya felt the prickling of tears begin to form behind her eyes.  Trixie just stared at her.

“To this day, we don’t know how they found out about us. We were careful and always covered our steps in order to avoid this.  Five of my friends died that night.  Somehow, I was able to escape out the back door and run through the alleys in order to get out.  I don’t remember much of it.  I have blacked it out.”  Katya felt the first tear fall as Trixie reached across to hold her hand 

“I survived when five of my friends didn’t. It haunts me every day.  It triggered my anxiety and I’ve been a horribly anxious person ever since. I used drugs and alcohol to try and cover it up.  I ended up a mess with anxiety, a drinking problem, and PTSD from a terrible event,” Katya paused to gather herself as Trixie’s thumb ran across the back of her hand.

“I didn’t only leave Russia because I wanted a better life. I left Russia because I didn’t have another choice.  Being there was too much for me.  Since being in the States I’ve been better.  The night I was with you, though, it all came crashing down.  I felt a panic attack coming on and I didn’t want you to be around to witness that” Katya looked up at a very sober Trixie.

“I caused you to have an anxiety attack?” Trixie’s face contorted into a confused expression.

“Oh God, no! No, it wasn’t you Trix,” Katya tried to reason with her.

“What was it, then?” Trixie asked, trying to put together the pieces.

“It was time.  It was bound to happen eventually since I’d gone so long without an episode,” Katya explained.

“But being with me triggered your anxiety and reminded you of that horrible event,” Trixie reasoned.

“No, that’s not what happened,” Katya reached out to grab her as Trixie removed her hand from Katya’s own.

“Really? Because that’s exactly what it sounds like happened.  Katya, I’m so sorry you suffered something like that.  And thank you for sharing that story with me, it truly means so much. But I can’t be around you knowing that I am causing you pain every single second.  Knowing that I am forcing you to relive memories you want to keep hidden will eat me alive,” Trixie said 

“Trixie stop,” Katya pleaded. “You’re the only thing that makes it better.  Really, you are!”

“I can’t do this.  I am so sorry,” Trixie stood up to go.  As she rose, Katya noticed Trixie had shed a few of her own tears, wet streaks decorated her porcelain cheekbones. 

“Trix, don’t go!” Katya all but shouted as Trixie made her way to the door.

“Listen, I know I come with a lot of baggage. I know I’m a mess and I also know this won’t be the last time I do something completely shitty to you that you don’t deserve.  But no one has ever made me feel the way you do.  Not in Russia, not in the States.  You’re not the cause of my problems, you make me forget about them. You fix me, and I care about you,” As Katya spoke, Trixie froze, contemplating her next move.

“I care about you too,” Trixie spoke softly, not meeting Katya’s eyes. “That’s why I’m leaving. Goodbye, Katya.”

Katya begged her to stay as Trixie opened the door to leave.  She felt the latch click behind her, followed by silence as Katya’s voice stopped.  She walked about a block from Katya’s apartment before she felt the repercussions of her actions wash over her like a tsunami. Unable to stand, Trixie sat up against a random storefront along her walk home.  The cool breeze of the night air tickled her bare arms.  She was sad, but couldn’t produce any tears.  She felt completely numb. 

The realization quickly washed over her that the one woman that she thought she might love had just poured out her feelings and past trauma to Trixie, who totally disregarded them and made it all about herself. Katya had practically screamed at her to stop.  Katya begged Trixie to understand that she wasn’t causing problems, but rather fixing them.  And Trixie had been too stupid, too stubborn, and too self-absorbed to realize that.

On their own accord, her legs forced her to stand. Instead of walking back to her own apartment, which is what her brain told her to do, her body and her heart were pulling her back towards Katya’s.  Before she knew it, she was staring at the same door she had shut only about eight minutes ago.

She didn’t knock because she knew Katya wouldn’t have moved from her place slumped against the couch to get up and deadbolt the door. She walked right in and a very confused Katya turned to look at her.  Katya had been crying, Trixie could tell by the puffiness in her face and crumpled tissues on the coffee table. 

Trixie strode over to her, finally meeting Katya’s eyes.  Without saying anything, Trixie wrapped Katya into a hug, pulling her small body into Trixie’s larger one.  Katya nestled in and Trixie felt the warmth of tears seep into her cotton shirt. Katya allowed herself to be held and Trixie stroked her hair and rubbed her back.  Words wouldn’t convey what they were feeling, but touch might be able to offer the other a glimpse into their emotions.

They stayed like that for some time.  Neither was sure exactly how much passed, but eventually Katya pulled away, her eyes searching Trixie for some sort of explanation.

“You came back?” Katya questioned.

“I made it all about me and I am so sorry.  I care about you and I want to be with you,” Trixie said simply.

“I want to be with you too,” Katya whispered as she held Trixie’s hands in her own. “Thank you for coming back.  You really are the only one who makes it better.”

“Thank you for sharing your story with me.  I want to be there for you and help in any way I can,” Trixie leaned in, pressing her forehead to Katya’s.

“I would like that, very much,” Katya tilted her head back, her lips brushing against Trixie’s.  A kiss didn’t feel right between them quite yet, so neither made the move towards it. Rather, they fell into a hug, comforting each other against the harsh reality in which they lived.  There are some things that one cannot conquer on their own, but rather only with the assistance of a partner.  This was that type of situation, they both realized, as they held each other close.   


	7. Chapter 7 (Epilogue)

When you fall in love, your view of the world changes. Colors seem brighter, as if someone turned up the saturation on everything around you.  The sun shines more, as if the number of beautiful days increases almost instantly.  You begin to look at the glass half full instead of half empty.  It’s like someone changed the settings to the game to “easy,” and now you’re just coasting through. 

Love isn’t all easy, though.  It brings challenges, as would any game.  But, it’s about how you overcome those challenges and how you move forward, rather than the obstacles themselves. Eventually, you return to that bliss-like state, and all is well once again.

Hand in hand, they glided down the sidewalk.  Their strides perfectly aligned with one another, one cloaked in black and red, the other in pink and white.  They were like polar opposites, yet they fit together so well. 

Katya didn’t believe in soul mates, and she sure as hell didn’t believe in fate.  She thought it to be some form of a cruel joke, made up by poor, unfortunate souls as a way to make up excuses for their shitty situations.  That was until she met Trixie.  The bright pink Barbie doll who wandered into her life unexpectedly and changed everything.  With Trixie, life was simply worth living again.  As cliché as that sounded, Katya had to believe it, because it’s what happened.

She still didn’t know what Trixie saw in her – a washed up addict with mental health issues wasn’t really a hot dating pitch. But Trixie loved her not just in spite of all those things, but also because of them.  Katya had thought of herself as unlovable for so long, but that simply wasn’t the case.  She just hadn’t found the right person to love her yet.

They arrived at “their place” – Dela’s – which was right around the corner from Trixie’s place.  Katya held open the door and laughed as Trixie’s white sandal caught on the doorstop.  The predictableness of the simple stumble always caused Katya to laugh.  Trixie had been here countless times and she still managed to forget about it.  

“Stop that! You know I’m a mess,” Trixie lightly slapped Katya’s bicep.

“Yes and that’s just one of the many things I love about you,” Katya smiled as the door shut behind them.

“Why, hello ladies! What’ll it be today?” Dela chirped from behind the counter, her large triangle-shaped turquoise earrings clashing against her lime green dress.

“Two vanilla lattes with whipped cream on top instead of foam,” Trixie looked at Katya when she spoke.  Katya originally inspired her to try it after Trixie desperately searched for a reason to talk to her.  From that day on, Trixie ordered it every day.

“Coming right up! Take a seat and I’ll bring it out when its ready!” Dela went to work, steaming the milk behind the brightly lit counter.

They sat at the table in the back corner, the same one they shared the first-time many months ago.  While they didn’t always get to sit there, they always tried, since the spot held so many memories.

They chatted about work mostly, making it a point to catch up with each other as not to drift apart.  Trixie was working on a new editorial, while Katya was busy working on sketches for an up and coming company in the area.

“Here you go!” Dela said as she dropped their drinks, prancing away in her golden wedges, which Katya had no idea how she wore all day at the café while on her feet for hours.

They echoed thank you’s and took their first sips.

“You know, I never would have thought to put whipped cream in coffee,” Trixie joked.

“It adds the perfect touch of sweetness without overpowering the coffee flavor,” Katya explained.

"I was just going to say it makes it taste like coffee ice cream but, that works too,” Trixie chuckled.

They finished their drinks and headed back to their apartment.  Recently, they had both moved to a new place that was closer to Trixie’s job, as well as the city center where Katya did most of her work.  They wanted a place that was uniquely _theirs,_ and a place to call their home.

Trixie insisted on pink walls and curtains, despite Katya’s very vocal protests.  Katya got to keep her eclectic décor visible in all areas of the house though, so a balance was struck.  It was their place, not one or the others, but theirs together.

Trixie got to work editing a piece, while Katya simply sat on the couch, taking in everything that her life had become.  In just about a year she had moved to a new country, met an amazing woman to share her life with, and had a complete mental breakdown about it.  She recovered from that last part though.  Trixie now was able to recognize the signs when Katya was about to spiral, and she knew how to mitigate it as much as she could.

“You alright, babe?” Trixie called behind her, blonde tendrils bouncing as she turned her head to see Katya staring off, lost in her own thoughts.

“More than alright,” Katya sighed, “never been better,”  
“I love you,” Trixie said.

“I love you too,” Katya echoed, and she meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has stuck out this story. I'm sorry this last chapter took approximately two months to see the light of day. Thank you for your patience.  
> This story didn't turn out exactly how I wanted it to, but the characters did their own thing, as with any story. I am working on some new materials that will hopefully be complete soon. I will be back with some better quality writing with more constituent updates and more riveting story lines.  
> For the last time, thank you for reading. I can't wait to see what the next fic has in store for us.  
> XO -G


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